I wish I only lived at night.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
