we have officially lost it.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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