You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
