I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize