I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
