Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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