Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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