Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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