well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
