Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
