she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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