woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
