Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
