All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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