She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
