the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
