theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
