Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
