So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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