Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
