drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
