He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize