Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
