jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
