You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
so much tequila, so little girl.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
