When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
