Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize