Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize