Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
