I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We just shotgunned beers for America
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
