so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
