it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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