I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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