I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
