he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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