Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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