You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
