There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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