sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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