why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
