Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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