I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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