420 ftw
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
