is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
