Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
