Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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