We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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