i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
