some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
