Screwed.edu
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
