Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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