I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
