i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
