Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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