so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
