Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Randomize
