I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My vagina just recognized that song.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
