His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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