I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
