Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
