I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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