Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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