Your face is a jimmy john
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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