That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize